The expert spoke about the main "red flags" in online dating

Most first dates don't turn into second dates: according to research, 73% of meetings are limited to one meeting. One of the reasons for refusing to continue communication is the so—called red flags - signs indicating potentially dangerous or toxic behavior of a partner. Konstantin Domashnev, the founder of the dating service, spoke about the most common of them on November 9.

According to the expert, increased attention to "red flags" is associated with an increase in self-sufficiency and people's demands on their partner. However, excessive caution can hinder the development of a relationship.

"Correspondence or behavior of a person on a first date does not determine the relationship with him in the future, otherwise people would not be mistaken in choosing a life partner. In addition, the spark that passed through at the meeting makes red flags almost useless until the chemistry of falling in love weakens its effect," Domashnev said in an interview with Gazeta.Ru».

Nevertheless, according to him, there are signs that cannot be ignored. He attributed the risk of violence and stalking to the basic ones. Potential harassers, the expert explained, can be identified by inappropriate personal questions about their place of residence, work, or last name, as well as by attempts to find a person on other social networks and track their activity.

Another alarming signal is a tendency to aggression.

"It manifests itself in irritation due to "slow" responses in correspondence, hostile reactions to disagreements, in sudden mood swings, in the predominance of sarcasm in humor, in condemning your exes, in toxic treatment of service personnel and dissatisfaction with your defense of your borders," he stressed.

Domashnev called the inability to perceive rejection another "red flag." This is manifested in persistent requests for a meeting or a call after a refusal, in demanding personal photos and pressure when switching to messengers.

A lack of empathy and emotional responsiveness can also indicate an insecure partner. People devoid of empathy are not interested in the feelings of the interlocutor, devalue emotions and turn the conversation to themselves. According to the expert, you can check this by sharing difficult experiences and evaluating the reaction of the interlocutor.

Among the typical manipulators, Domashnev singled out the so—called lovebombers - people who, with excessive confessions, gifts and attention, tend to quickly become addicted.

"Excessive compliments, declarations of love, expensive gifts and generous gestures of attention are used. Manipulators claim all your time through constant correspondence or calls," he explained.

A separate category consists of consumerists — interlocutors who are interested in material benefits. They can be identified by persistent requests to hold a meeting in an expensive restaurant "to test generosity."

According to the expert, there are also so-called sex hunters who, under the pretext of "checking compatibility", seek intimate contact or photos.

"To test the other person, let them know that emotional contact is important to you—if it's not valuable to the person, they're likely to speed up the topic of physical intimacy," he concluded.

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On September 2, family psychologist Elena Rusinova told how to distinguish love from codependency. According to her, love is a mature feeling available to people who are aware and accept themselves. In other cases, it is more about codependency, when a partner replaces a parent figure who satisfied children's needs.

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