The psychologist explained the difference between friendship at 25 and at 50

Clinical psychologist Alesya Davydova spoke on Thursday, April 23, about the difference between friendship in youth and friendship in adulthood, and whether friends are needed after the age of 50.

According to the expert, in childhood and youth, people call every acquaintance and friend a friend without hesitation. But every year there are fewer and fewer friends for one reason or another, she noted in an interview with aif.ru .

Between the ages of 30 and 40, the most active stage of life takes place, where it is necessary to fit and build a career, and the birth and care of children, and the payment of mortgages for apartments and loans for cottages, and home improvement. Therefore, friends are given less time.

However, when the children have grown up, a person may experience the "empty nest syndrome", he may find himself confused and even depressed, devastation occurs. At this point, many people realize that they sorely miss having close friends nearby so that they can share their interests, plans, and dreams with them. It is at this point that friendship ceases to be a "pleasant bonus", but becomes a pillar.

The psychologist noted that friendship does not happen by itself. It needs to be created and maintained, and you need to invest in it, just like in any relationship.

Davydova said that even after 50, you can make new friends. They can be found at courses or interest groups; at sports, yoga or dancing; at events, meetings and lectures; traveling, and you can also meet online on social networks or forums. At the same time, you will have to take the initiative yourself, and not sit and wait for someone to write first, invite you, and offer to meet, the specialist emphasized.

According to the psychologist, the most important thing a friend can give at this time is to help you understand that after 50 years of age, life does not end, just a new stage begins, and with friends with whom you will be warm, well, you can get the most joy and pleasure out of life.

The specialist emphasized that being friends after 50 is already a conscious choice and your active actions. At this age, it is important to understand that friendship no longer "happens by itself", as in 20 years, when you and your friends were brought together by one school or one university. Now you can choose who to contact.

If you realize that there is no depth, interest, or energy in relationships with former friends anymore, transfer them to the status of "just good friends", and go ahead to those with whom you can be yourself, having an interest in each other and feeling warmth, Davydova added.

In addition, she explained that friendship is not about sacrifice and obligation, but about mutual exchange. You deserve a relationship in which you can not only give, but also take, ask and receive support, and at the same time not carry everything on yourself.

According to the expert, after 50, friendship is based on simple things — it's writing, inviting, taking the initiative, not expecting the other party to do it for you.

She suggested to forget about the attitude that "real friends only from childhood, from youth." It is precisely because of this misconception that many close down and remain alone. However, after the age of 50, the chance of meeting "your" people is even higher, because you already understand who you are, what is important to you, and who you want to see next to you.

Davydova added that proper friendship after 50 years is not about the quantity, but about the quality of people, next to whom it is easy, pleasant and interesting for you to live.

In turn, psychologist Natalia Panfilova expressed the opinion in an interview with NSN that genuine friendly relations between a man and a woman are rare.

The specialist noted on April 20 that often the relationship between the sexes has hidden sexual overtones. An exception may be a situation where friendship persists after a breakup, but even in this case, male support for a woman may be more like patronage. 360.ru .

Earlier, on March 6, Eric Kaloyan, director of VR arena network development at WARPOINT, told Izvestia that it is becoming increasingly difficult for adults to find time to meet with friends: free hours are often spent recovering from work and household chores. Against this background, leisure formats with a well-thought-out scenario and precise timing are growing in popularity.

Yulia Kovalchuk, Candidate of Medical Sciences, psychotherapist and sexologist at On Clinic, noted in an interview with the Moscow City News agency that the problem of interpersonal relationships and interactions is more typical for the zoomer generation. According to the expert, virtual communication in social networks and games fills up all the time and creates the illusion of friendship.